Jesus and Buddha:The Parallel Sayings

Jesus: "Do to others as you would have them do to you." Luke 6:31

Buddha: "Consider others as yourself." Dhammapada 10:1

Jesus: "If anyone strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also." Luke 6:29

Buddha: "If anyone should give you a blow with his hand, with a stick, or with a knife, you should abandon any desires and utter no evil words." Majjhima Nikaya 21:6

Jesus: "Truly I tell you, just as you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to me." Matthew 25:45

Buddha: "If you do not tend to one another, then who is there to tend you? Whoever would tend me, he should tend the sick." Vinaya, Mahavagga 8:26.3

Jesus: "Put your sword back into its place; for all those who take the sword will perish by the sword." Matthew 26:52

Buddha: "Abandoning the taking of life, the ascetic Gautama dwells refraining from taking life, without stick or sword." Digha Nikaya 1:1.8

Jesus: "Those who want to save their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake will save it." Mark 8:35

Buddha: "With the relinquishing of all thought and egotism, the enlightened one is liberated through not clinging." Majjhima Nikaya 72:15

Jesus: "Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything that I have commanded you." Matthew 28:19-20

Buddha: "Teach the dharma which is lovely at the beginning, lovely in the middle, lovely at the end. Explain with the spirit and the letter in the fashion of Brahma. In this way you will be completely fulfilled and wholly pure." Vinaya Mahavagga 1:11.1

From "Jesus and Buddha: The Parallel Sayings" edited by Marcus Borg, published by Ulysses Press

How to Be Positive When the World is Negative

Do you sometimes feel that the world around you is negative? Do you get easily irritated and frustrated, not knowing how to deal with this negativity, and lack the energy needed to keep going in your life? If so, here are some powerful tips that will help you to keep calm, be positive and deal with the difficulties that you encounter on your way when life gets rough:

1. Escape the trap of blame. Instead of constantly criticizing and blaming others, dare to criticize your own behavior and find out ways to overcome your wrongdoings.

2. Choose your friends carefully. Those who surround you can immensely influence who you are and how you live, so be sure to spend time with those who are cheerful and uplifting.

3. Limit your exposure to negative media. Fear sells and it’s one of the most common tools used by the corporate mainstream media to shape the layman’s worldview and opinions. Select your sources of information and entertainment thoughtfully so as to make sure that they won’t mess up with your psychology.

4. Spend regular time in nature. Living in chaotic cities of concrete, it’s no surprise that the majority of people experience high levels of stress, which brings tremendous negativity into their lives. By spending a couple of hours every day in the calm, beautiful and relaxing environment of nature you’ll start experiencing much more peace and happiness.

5. Be mindful of your everyday behavior. The main reason why our lives are filled with negativity is our own behavior — the thoughts we think, the words we utter, and the ways we act are usually harmful both to ourselves and others. By being more conscious of your actions, you’ll avoid all the above and be able to make better choices that will bring positivity into your life.

6. Focus on what you can control. Many times people try desperately to control people and situations so as to create what they consider the perfect life for themselves, but that’s simply an impossible thing to do, without feeling disappointed, since nobody can completely control all and everything. By letting go of the need to take control over the world, you’ll feel less stress and have more energy to focus on what truly matters.

7. Reduce the amount of stuff you consume. Instead of wasting your time and energy acquiring stuff that will ultimately leave you empty and disappointed, be sure to pursue those things that actually make you fulfilled.

8. Disconnect and relax. Being always busy day in and day out, most people feel constantly stressed and end up being physically and emotionally drained. To boost your happiness and energy levels, be sure to spend some time alone every day in silence, away from technological devices, doing nothing but re-connecting with your self and relaxing your body and soul.

9. Express your mind and heart. The less you honestly express yourself, the more suppressed you’ll be, and hence the more you will fill your psyche with toxic energy. By speaking out your thoughts and emotions, as well as doing more of the things that you love doing, you will feel unburdened from suppressed emotions and experience more happiness and freedom.

10. Keep your body healthy. Most people treat their bodies like a trash can, filling them with toxic food, and neglecting to take care of its needs. If you want to be healthier and feel better, be sure to treat your body the best you can — eat nutritious food, sleep well, and take regular exercise.

11. Focus on the solutions, not the problems. Problems are there so that we can learn from them and overcome them. Instead of looking at them as obstacles, try to use them as stepping stones for your own benefit.

12. Cultivate a compassionate heart. No matter how negative the people that surround you are, fighting against them is never a way to solving your problems — it only brings more negativity and conflict. The only way to make peace with them and create a more positive environment around you is by developing a compassionate attitude.

13. Cultivate a peaceful mind. Mental conflict and agitation are big reasons why we experience negativity in our lives. Practicing meditation will do wonders to help you overcome conflicting thoughts and find mental clarity and inner peace.

14. Take responsibility in your hands. If you are not responsible for your life, you’ll always feel like a victim of circumstances. By taking responsibility, you’ll start feeling more confident and courageous, knowing that you have the power to shape your destiny.

15. Be the change that you want to see in the world. If the world always seems negative around you, that could mean that you project your own negativity onto the world. To help turn the world into a better place, start from turning yourself into a better person. 

source: theunboundedspirit

25 Signs That You’re A Mentally Strong Person

1. You don’t yell or become easily angry.

Even in the harshest stress factors, you choose to stay calm and you try to handle situations smoothly. You feel that by raising your voice, you’re lowering yourself.

2. You are open to feedback.

You are not afraid to voice your opinion; neither are you afraid to take other’s opinions or feedback, whether they’re negative or positive. You rather welcome it so you can learn.

3. You apologize when necessary.

You know well when you’ve made a mistake and you apologize, not worrying about losing face. You are aware that by apologizing, you’ll be the bigger person.

4. You are willing to adjust to bring improvement.

Being a mentally strong person, you’re adaptable to change. You know that change is good for whatever condition you’re in.

5. You don’t limit your thoughts to just superficial matters

You don’t just see things as they are. You look deep into matters and you read into things before drawing a conclusion.

6. You refrain from expectations on others.

You don’t expect anything in return when you go the extra mile for someone. You have always been selfless.

7. You know how to set boundaries to keep things in perspective.

You don’t let others cross the limits you’ve set, and you let others know about those limits politely yet firmly.

8. You are open to receiving help.

You are well aware of the areas you’re weak in and you are not afraid to ask for help from others. You know that by doing so, you’re only learning.

9. You are not co-dependent.

You are just not the kind who relies on others emotionally or just to get things done. By doing so, you maintain a healthy relationship both personally and professionally.

10. You follow your instincts.

You believe in gaining experiences, because of which you learn to follow your instincts to guide your judgment.

11. You forgive yourself.

It’s hard to move on if you don’t let go, and this is one of the things you’ve learned over the years. So you forgive yourself when you make a mistake and leave the past where it belongs instead of dwelling on it.

12. You understand your limitations.

You have certain limits that you’ve established for yourself and you’ve embraced them because you know well that that is who you are.

13. You understand that conflict can bring resolution to a problem.

You know that holding grudges has never been a solution to problems, nor has anyone achieved anything out of it. So you think of a solution, instead.

14. You avoid procrastination.

You prefer to finish the task at hand before moving to the next one. Although procrastination sounds appealing, it only keeps piling up work.

15. You take negativity with grain of salt.

You’ve hardly ever made assumptions without first being fully aware of the situation. You avoid believing in the negative stuff that you’ve been told, as much as you can.

16. You are responsible in financial matters.

You, in general are a wise person. You don’t only make decisions wisely; you also avoid spending money foolishly.

17. You know that persistence pays off.

You have a strong will power which doesn’t let you give up on things you really want. You keep persisting until you know success is at your doorstep.

18. You find ways around any obstacle.

You keep trying and you don’t stop until you’ve achieved that target. Giving up just isn’t your thing, but looking for alternatives is.

19. You are always looking for ways to improve yourself.

You often feel that you can do better and that there’s always room for improvement, because you embraced the fact that no one is perfect a long time back.

20. You take action in maintaining your health.

If you’re not healthy, you’re not wealthy and wise — and that you’re motto. So you try to eat, sleep, drink and breathe healthy as much as is possible for you.

21. You try new things outside your comfort zone.

It’s not as if you get bored easily but staying put gives you no exposure nor do you learn. You move outside that comfort zone to experience change and fun along with it.

22. You do not blame circumstances on extrinsic things.

You take everything into consideration and you know that blaming something that’s beyond your control is useless and silly.

23. You use your time wisely.

Going around wasting your time is a big “NO” for you. So you choose to spend that time productively so that others along with you can benefit.

24. You let others take the lead.

You know how things are done so you sit back, relax and others take the lead while you enjoy. You do try to give them your full support, though, if they need it.

25. You remain calm and clear of thought during a crisis.

Good result of anything comes out when it’s done with a peaceful and a calm mind. So even in a crisis situation, you try your best to remain calm.

Life is full of challenges that must be dealt with. The ability to deal with these challenges requires some degree of mental toughness. The types of stress in daily life can vary. Things happen, from missing a credit card payment to dealing with death in the family. Everyone also deals with problems in a different capacity.

Some may question whether they have any mental toughness in them. Certain people have ice in their veins, while others are ready to run at a moment’s notice. If you feel you are someone who lacks being a mentally strong person, train yourself to be. Read about people whose actions you admire.

Study those that dealt with adversity and created change. Learn how to use that for positive change in your own life

Source: lifehack.org

6 Big Mistakes That Destroy Family Relationships

Family should be a person’s first source for love, acceptance, and support. Unfortunately, many extended families are failing miserably as the people within the family do things to undercut family unity. Understanding the problem is the first step in finding a solution.

6 things that destroy extended family include:

1. Insults and Criticism

Words carry weight. In some cases they can carry the weight of the world. When unkind words are said to family, they hurt. Your family is supposed to be your source of encouragement and support. Negative words damage the core of family relationships. Some family members may say things off the cuff and think that because these things were said casually, they don’t hurt the other person. The truth is that such words hurt, however they are said. When negative words are spoken to family members it creates a chasm in the relationship. It takes time and positive interactions to repair the harm that is done when insults, criticisms, and jabs take place.

When there is any outpouring of these negative words to a family member the chasm can grow so great that it can almost seem beyond repair. Any relationship can be resolved with apologies and forgiveness, but the hurt can still remain long after words are exchanged. Be careful with your words. Remind yourself that as family you are there to be one another’s greatest supporters in life. Tearing others in the family down with words is destructive to the family unit. Keep the old adage in mind when speaking to your family “if you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all”.

If there are people in your family who have problems with words, then set the example and set it strong. Use words that encourage and uplift family members. Doing so makes you a person that others want to be around. People don’t want to be around people who make them feel bad. They want to be around those who make them feel good about themselves. Help your family by looking for the positive in each and every person, so that you can set the example of using words that uplift fellow family members.

2. Gossip

Gossip is very damaging. Most often gossip occurs when someone is upset by something related to the person they are gossiping about. It may make a person feel better temporarily, but in the end it does not solve the problem as the gossip itself is certainly not done out of kindness or love. If you have a problem or issue with someone in the family then go to them directly. You don’t need to announce your issue in front of the whole family. Some people do this to force family members to choose sides in a situation .

When sides are taken, there is a divide in the family. Instead, go to that person privately with whom you have a problem. Discuss the issues, but do so with the the goal of reconciliation. Doing so with hardness in your heart or wanting to attribute blame won’t solve the problem.

Voice your concerns in a manner that helps them see things from your perspective. That way they may better want to heal the relationship and rectify any wrongs. Don’t talk badly about family members behind their back. If they have some drama in their life and it has nothing to do with you, then don’t spread their stories around. Tell yourself “not my monkeys, not my circus”.

3. Lack of Inclusion

An Ask Amy article was posted online that clearly puts family inclusion into perspective. Here is that wonderfully articulated response from Amy Dickinson of the Chicago Tribute: Inclusion of family members is essential to family unity. Include all family members at family functions. Even if you “know” they are going to say no. Ask anyway. The hard feelings come because of failure to ask and failure to include. It is up to them whether they attend whatever function or trip you are inviting them to, but the most important part is that they are asked. If your goal is family unity and love among all members, then include all members in family gatherings and functions. Don’t find excuses to not include, as that is wrong and will create hard feelings.

4. Deception and Lies

Deception in a family is destructive. The truth always prevails. Sometimes it may take years or even a generation for the lies and deceit to become known, but know that they will come to light someday. If you can’t be honest with your family, who can you be honest with?

Lying to family or using deception to keep secrets leads to brokenness in a family. This brokenness comes from trust being corroded. The bigger the lie, the bigger the corrosion. Some lies, such as secret children born from an affair, can create insurmountable corrosion that will leave a family damaged for generations.

Your actions have consequences. Not just to you, but to your extended family for generations to come. It is much better to admit your wrong doings and work toward healing, than to lie and work to carry that lie around indefinitely (or until you are found out). Don’t burden yourself with lies. Be open and honest with your family. If you have done something that is hurtful to family members, then you need to apologize and make an effort to rectify the situation for the sake of family unity. Trying to hide the truth only compounds the hurt. The longer the truth is hidden, the more compounded the hurt.

5. Failure to Accept Differences

Children who grow up in the same home with the same parents, same discipline, and same guidance do not turn out to be the same exact adults as their siblings. We all have differences. Allow others to be different. Just because you are family doesn’t mean you have to share the same political views or even the same religion.

People will grow up and have different parenting styles and lifestyle choices, but it is not the job of family members to judge. Love and acceptance starts in the family. If a family is not providing this to one another, then they are fundamentally failing as a family.

If you choose to put a foothold in the differences and create family strife because of differences, then the extended family unit is ultimately damaged. Accept people for who they are and for where they are in life. Acceptance of a person for who they are, is the ultimate form or love.

6. No Apologies and No Forgiveness

Apologies and forgiveness are the glue that keep a family together. Nobody is perfect. At some point in time you will hurt a member of the family. It is up to you to say the words “I am sorry for…”. Those words can heal wounds and create a stronger family bond. When you apologize to a family member, the message you are sending to the person is that they matter and that you don’t want ill feelings between you and them.

Not apologizing, is sending the message that the person does not matter or that their feelings don’t matter. Failure to apologize is a personality flaw and weakness of character. Be the bigger person and apologize when you do something wrong against a family member, whether your words or actions that hurt the person were intentional or not does not matter. What matters is that the apology takes place. You can explain intentions, but you can’t make someone unfeel being wronged.

When someone apologizes, be a gracious forgiver. Families need one another. Don’t hold grudges, as that is a burden to you and it harms the family. Forgive and show your forgiveness with your actions as well as your words. This means that if you forgot to invite a family member to a birthday celebration, then ask for their forgiveness and offer to do something to make it up to the family member like taking him or her to lunch. Actions speak louder than words, so make your apology count by making your actions parallel a heartfelt apology.

Source: lifehack.org